You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
