Your mouth is God's brothel.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
