absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize