Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
