oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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