i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
