Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
And then my night got REAL pukey
All I want is dick and wine.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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