Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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