you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This is the high leading the old right now
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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