guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
