it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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