if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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