That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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