She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
