Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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