Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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