Joe is yelling at the trees again.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just googled if crying burns calories
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
