I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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