what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
