When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
