omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
