I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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