just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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