i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
