smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
