These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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