In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
