He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
