I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
