Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
