Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
