That's intense
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
