Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im holly from the hills drunk
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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