the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
it's like iHOP with fire
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
