We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
