rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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