i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
