...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
