i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
