"it" just moved
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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