pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My friends, they love my intelligence
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
