Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
