Midget sex pt 2 tonight
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
