i wish there were pregnant emoticons
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
