i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
