I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
