he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
