dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
