Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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