dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
