It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize