hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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