flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
found the other keg... it's in the tree
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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