don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
