so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
