Too much gin, very little bucket
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
