you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
