im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
