What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
