This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
