Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
