You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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