I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
