he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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