he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize