I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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