If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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