I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
