is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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