shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
