My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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