SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
