Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
