I'm lost and stupid without you.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
