So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
