he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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