i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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